More on Flow and "Radical Humility"

In my last post I wrote about achieving a state of flow, which is a state that makes anything possible. Many have trouble grasping the notion of "flow," as Dan articulated so well in his comment to the post, because some "feel like it contradicts the cultural norm of individualism."

Another way to look at this is that understanding flow requires a humility (what Wayne Dyer calls "Radical Humility") that is, for some creative types, not possible. I've read some talented writers, seen some uniquely talented actors, been bowled over by people in business settings who seem to be able to grasp the mucky pulp of human interaction and can shape it into something productive. And all of these people share a unique blend of confidence and humility. They don't believe they own their brilliance; but they know how to access it.

I watched "The Power of Myth," series this weekend, in which one of the most brilliant men of the 20th century--Joseph Campbell--is interviewed by Bill Moyers. I'd been urged to see this series for years by insightful friends whose taste in literature I'd admired. Finally, while perusing Netflix, I saw the series and it called to me, perhaps because I'm in a place in my life where I can finally embrace the concept of a shared mythology--of a dynamic higher and invisible to me. It's taken me 30 years to understand that, while I am unique, I'm not alone--others have had the same catharses as I have through the ages.

I was struck by the content of the series, to be sure, but more by Campbell himself, who would lose himself in the stories and myths that he'd uncovered in his research. He told each one with such delight that I had to believe in the metaphorical truth in each one. Bill Moyers asked tough questions about how myth revealed the human condition. All of Campbell's answers were offered in simple language--without the cant or fluff that people who over-identify with their genius add to their vocabulary. Despite being near the end of his life, his mind was fresh and could generate thoughtful answers without an ounce of ego; they were a pure transference of divine content, told through a gifted instrument.

This is an identifying factor of flow in action--heightened performance that immediately delights and connects others to their own sense of divinity. The delivery is pure, offered without any taint of ulterior, ego-driven motives.

Before I re-approached writing professionally, I had to re-establish my relationship with flow. I say "re-establish" because something made me aspire to write in the first place. When I was a child I often wrote poems, or created picture books in order to convey thoughts that were brewing in my head. I didn't create these with the expectation of getting them published. I simply felt compelled to transmit my thoughts into a tangible form. Those unforced instincts, even if they had been dormant, were critical to accessing flow. Remembering that I once had a pure, detached relationship to writing signaled to me that I really had an ability, but I'd created an environment that couldn't nourish that impulse.

I started to pay attention to things, notably my walks. Since I was in high school I liked to go on long walks or bike rides, immersing myself in music on my Walkman/iPod. I always came back from these walks renewed. I started to pay attention to the thoughts that generated during these walks and realized that I'd always had conversations going on in my head, but I'd often ignored them. I also noticed that I didn't "write" these conversations--they wrote themselves. The voices seemed to pre-exist--I never summoned or conjured them intentionally. I asked myself, what if these voices that I've ignored have something to say? I learned to still my mind and listen to the conversations play out, like I was listening to music. I also learned to take note of the interesting parts.

One day I challenged myself to write down one of these conversations. The process felt like dictation--like I was writing down someone else's words, not my own. I pulled the dialogue into a short story and asked my writing group to review it. They thought it was the best thing I'd ever written. It occurred to me, almost painfully, that amidst the years of forced prose I had in old file folders--reams of bad writing, that divine energy, or flow, was tapping on my shoulder, saying, in effect, "Lady, you asked for insight, and you got it! Here it is!" I just never acknowledged it because it was too easy; I didn't slave over each word or sculpt the writing. It wrote itself.

Writing this blog has, very often, been a practice of dictation--of writing what the voices in my head are telling me. Sometimes they speak too fast, and I can't get it all down adequately. I don't think I've ever written a post where I've been completely satisfied with my translation. Very often I have to make do with what I remember. Or I see images, not hear words, and I have to use my limited vocabulary to decribe them. I've learned not to be picky about how the information is relayed to me--I just feel thankful that it is.

I'm clear that I DO NOT WRITE THESE WORDS. Someone else does. I'm only privy to the conversation. And the second I turn away from it--pffft!--there goes my connection to it. It's like taking the cordless phone too far from its power source--you get disconnected.

My mother tells me I'm on a writing streak; What's really going on is I'm learning the art of cultivating my connection to flow. I know what times of day I'm most likely to hear the voices. I know that, even if I have a thousand other things to do, if I go to a Starbucks or coffee shop, I can fool my mind into thinking I have all the time in the world. in this unrushed atmosphere the voices feel welcome. I do not look up to the lights at Starbucks and pray for the divine to strike me like a double espresso, but I sip coffee and silently summon it forth. "OK," I say. "I'm just gonna sort of start writing random stuff and you're going to help me connect the dots, dig?" Nine times out of ten I'll hear a voice asking me to repeat what I just said so that it can take in what I've written, and then it corrects me. The voice has great rhythm--it coaches me like my dance teacher did when I was a kid, "Keep your head up! Point your toes. Bop, bop, BOP! Stay on the beat."

After a while the voice gets tired and ducks out. I read what I've written and fix a few typos. I'm bound to read it the next day and curse myself for the typos. But I also marvel at the outcome and wonder, where the hell did this come from? Who really wrote this?

You can read about how to make more money, how to be more successful, how to be more creative, and yet there are few resources that approach how to access flow, even though it leads to all that. Thanks, John Moter for the reading suggestion (it's actually on my book shelf and about to be digested) I'm more an undying fan of flow than an expert on it, but I do know that there is no "right" way to access it. The man at the seminar I wrote about in the first part of this series prays for it; I coax it to whisper to me. There is no singular "formula," but I can offer my observations of what attracts it.

1. Positive Intention. Is your goal to conquer the world? You may be successful accomplishing your goal, but it won't be an easy process; while pursuing it, you will not access a state of flow, and if you think you have, that's not flow. That's the kind of "flow" Dr. Evil gets into before trying to wipe out the world. It's not karmic; it's sociopathic.

Witness the snarky gossip columnist, or the novelist who uses her talent to crush others who she deems have wronged her. While she may be considered a successful writer commercially, the universe won't provide for people who want to use their energy for destructive, inauthentic, or ego-driven ends. She could lose her connection to the resource that has made her writing so well-received in the first place.

The universe doesn't find ass-kicking a goal in itself. Victory comes when it is tied up into some other redemption; success is only a side effect of a much larger objective.

2. Honest intention. Nor will the universe provide for anyone who cannot cop to what they really want to accomplish. If you say you want to end violence in the world, but you really just want to find a job at a nonprofit, don't expect to become Mother Teresa. People smell a rat, even if they don't acknowledge it.

On the other hand, don't beat yourself up if your goal is, say to build a successful business. You may think that this is a self-serving goal; maybe it is. But consider your intention behind this goal: Financial independence? To manifest a social objective? It's OK to want things for yourself. Very often these desires are deeply aligned with your purpose. I used to feel guilty about wanting to be a published writer--not a very worthy outcome, I thought, not lofty or selfless enough to pursue. Yet, when I considered that my desire was a manifestation of my higher goal of inspiring people and providing voice to silent concepts, I became much more at ease with my goal, and more adept at accessing my flow.

3. Simplicity: If you perceive a task as hard or complicated you probably won't achieve flow. I used to equate meaningful with difficult--if I wasn't straining to do it, I didn't deserve to get credit for it, let alone to get paid for it. Nor, in my mind, was the task worthy. I'd tossed out reams of wrting because it just flowed through me, reasoning that it must not have been very good.

Do not do this! A sign that you are in flow is that you have a sense of ease with the task. You can perceive the task as challenging--I consider writing even the simplest blog a challenge!--but if it's a strain and as desireable a task as swallowing castor oil, then it's unlikely that you will achieve flow with that pursuit. 

4. You forget your lipstick while you're at it. What I mean is, all concern for appearances is dropped while you are in flow. You cannot create an Academy Award winning performance--one completely aligned with your character--if you are more aligned with your concerns as an actor (Can they see my boobs through this prisoner of war costume? Did I drool during that wet, convincing, passion-filled sex scene?) Nope, sorry, can't do it, Angelina. (Interestingly, the one film of hers where I thought she was the least concerned with her perfect appearance was the one that won her the Oscar). Does this mean that all actors should gain weight and take on roles as ugly people to gain street cred? Though many seem to think so, the answer is no. You are not convincing until you drop the pretension of trying to be convincing. Likewise, you can only be in flow when you forget the process.

You may have to recreate the process to get into a flow state--much like someone has to close their eyes and, perhaps, count sheep before they fall asleep, but until they drift off and stop trying, they are not actually in the state of flow.

5. You quit asking, what's in it for me? Again, I'm not suggesting you become Mother Teresa. Very few people in this world identify so closely with the divine that all human longing is gone. But you sure as hell can try, meaning you should ask yourself, "Why am I doing this?" and reassessing the motivations behind your actions.

Let's be clear: I want to make A LOT OF MONEY. But I don't need more than I want to live a life of meaning and enjoyment. I want enough to do the work I love, not just work that pays; to afford a comfortable home for my family and friends, to wear clothes that fit my sense of style and character. To travel and learn about new cultures and experience how others live. To cultivate the person I am. Note I didn't throw in mulitple charities out of guilt--it's not about being able to brand all of your motivations as "good". Anything personally meaningful is good.

I go through this exercise because not everything that is for yourself is selfish, or not worthy of flow. But consider other common motivations redemption (as I mentioned earlier), acceptance, prestige, are not flow-worthy. I had a date with a wealthy guy a few years ago. He seemed so satisfied with himself because he was self-made.

"But why do you bother?" I asked, "Why do you like to make money?"

"I like to make money for the sake of making money," he said. I suspect he liked to make money because he felt it made him more attractive in others' eyes. Unfortunately it didn't in mine--I never went out with him again. He struck me as rich and dull.

6. Flow is kind, it is not boastful...Before I go about reciting lines from Corinthians (I've been to so many weddings recently this wouldn't be difficult) let me explain--or maybe Wayne Dyer should explain. He does this beautifully when he describes the principle of Radical Humility. Talent without humility is blocked.

As you may know, I adore the show Project Runway on Bravo. One of the designers in the competition, Santino, is in many ways brilliant. I admired him at the beginning of the show--his designs were always the best. And his seemingly quiet demeanor seemed to belie his talent. When you're that good, let the clothes speak for themselves!

However, several episodes in, Santino has become more comfortable with the cameras. He shares his thoughts about the other designers ("She's like, worthless" "Her voice is SO annoying!) and his (sky high) thoughts about himself. He's defensive when the judges--who don't deny his talent--question him. I find myself looking at his designs more critically now, finding fault with them. The ornate trim now strikes me as excessive, like he's trying fruitlessly to show the others up. He almost lost the most recent challenge because his lofty views of his talent undermined the actual assignment. He figured he was so good that the judges would change their criteria.

It occurred to me that Santino's talent is riding so much on his ability to be seen and respected that his efforts at becoming a world-renowned designer may become thwarted. Personally my vote is for Nick, who is also very talented and seems to take on each challenge without complaint or criticism and keeps an eye on fairness and harmony with others.

7. You feel like you've had really good sex. By this I mean you feel a pervading sense of contentment. It renders you incapable of being sad, angry, or worried. Negative feelings cannot exist with flow. In fact, Dyer suggests that to cultivate the intentions required to manifest your desires (of which being in flow is a pre-requisite) think positive thoughts. Check yourself when you find yourself being critical, or worried, or resigned.

I used to think that if I didn't worry about something sufficiently, it would happen, out of punishment for my failure to give the outcome enough angst and anxiety. I also used to think that God would strike me down for things (I won't recite the list, but I'm sure plenty of Catholics have a similar one nailed to a wall somewhere in their brain). There is nothing admirable or moral about thinking this way. If anything, it's destructive, its more gunk in the pipeline, blocking your flow.

I will offer up a final resource that I read recently and thought was so pertinent to the concept of flow: Felix Garena's Manifesto: The Lifecycle of the Creative Soul. Here, creativity and flow are interchangeable. 

creativity meaningful work creative careers entrepreneurism

Comments

[Dan]

Jory

Well, true to form, you've taken this to a whole new level. A fabulous post!

Say, today, I formally changed the name of my blog and site, and am now at unfoldingleadership.blogspot.com, so the link to my name gets folks only to a referral page. Thanks so much for the mention!

[Joy Des Jardins]

What a fantastic post Jor. So that's what was happening on those long walks...funny where you get your inspiration from. There was no denying you tapped into it somewhere; and you've managed to cultivate your connection to flow in the most amazing and illuminating way. It's a beautiful thing to see...and very exciting for me personally; who will ALWAYS be your #1 fan.

[Jon Moter]

In other book suggestions, another awesome book is /Zen and the Art of Making a Living/. Have you read it? It's a pretty massive tome, but it's really interesting to read. A combination of philosophy, interesting quotes, and questions and worksheets to create more clarity in creating a life you love.

You seem like you're on a pretty great path at this point, but the topics in the book seem to be really similar to your interests. I was reminded of it because the book talks about Joseph Campbell quite a bit, and has whole chapters on archetypes.

Regarding your guidelines for flow, the commonality I see in a lot of them is that in a flow state, you don't have your attention on yourself. You're not concerned with how you look, how impressive it is, what the outcome will be, or even if you're in a flow state at that moment. Your attention is entirely outward; either with people or your writing or the basketball court in front of you.

Thanks for the inquiry; it's giving me a lot to think about regarding flow, and where it does and doesn't show up in my life.

[Love Coach Rinatta]

Jory
this is beautiful post, thank you. I am grateful to know that I am not the only one who "channels" writing. You know I don't mean I really channel, but it very often feels as if the things that I write demand to be written, regardless of my agenda. Thank you again for describing this process so beautifully and giving the steps to access flow.

[Steve Sherlock]

Yes, rite on! right on! write on!

[Jeremy]

I'm going to have to agree with your mom (again) -- you really are on a writing streak. Excellent stuff.

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