What do Women Want? Don't Ask this Woman

As I mentioned earlier, I attended the Marketing to Women conference, presented by the women's marketing firm Frank About Women in Chicago last week. I have no vested interest in this topic, just a strange curiosity around what people are saying women want. What do women want? Hell if I know.

I mean, I'm a woman by definition, but I've never felt I was a typical female. I've spent an inordinate amount of time being the anti-female. Not male, per se, but not exactly a card-carrying, silicone inserting, meal skipping, child-bearing, strappy-heel-wearing type either. I figured perhaps they could enlighten me, as I often struggle with that question; not so much, "What do women want?" but "What do I want?" Maybe, by being surrounded by other women who could provide statistic breakdowns of what we seem to want, I would get some ideas. Maybe, along with some swag and a few business cards I'd score an epiphany.

I felt fortunate being there on a don't-really-need-to-know basis. Those whose livelihoods depend on marketing to women are fairly screwed; imagine resting your career on an ever-shifting market. The opening presentation, given by Frank About Women, asserted that demo targeting is a no-no when marketing to women. Afterall, who is, say, the typical mother of a small child? Today, she's in her teens, 20s, 30s, 40s, 50s, or older if she's the primary caretaker of a grandchild. She's got a husband, or no husband, or maybe a wife. She spends her husband's money, or she spends her money on her husband. She floats between monikers of stay-at-home Mom, career woman, desperate housewife, DIY home renovator. Whoever she is, she prefers that you provide her with a solution, not a lifestyle option--she's already made her choices there, thank you.

I was comforted to know that Superwoman has been killed off; products will do well that don't promise to help women do it all. Good marketing must acknowledge the parts of her life that CAN be salvaged. Calgon sort of did that eons ago, but today there's less of a Sylvia Plath-like response to the competing pressures of career and domestic responsibility. Nor do women relate to themselves by job title. Over lunch I met the CEO of a multi-million-dollar company. She introduced herself as an entrepreneur.

Because there are no solid women's demographics anymore, marketers must look at common mindsets, or  "touchpoints" that could elicit purchasing of their product, said Frank About Women's Carrie McCament. For example, women are universally people-oriented; we will pay attention to any message that focuses on people and buy any product that can enhance our relationships with friends and family. The concept seems simple, but remember we're not talking about men here, we're talking about women. Finding a woman's touchpoint can be as difficult as finding her G spot. The good news is that women are often spontaneously orgasmic.

What do I mean? Let's look at my mother, the quintessential impulse buyer who fits the above-mentioned people-first mindset to a tee. Marketers may think she buys because she's a responder; she'll get misty over a McDonald's ad. But she's more likely to grab a Kleenex than a Big Mac in response to that ad. You want her to buy a Big Mac? Market to her husband, whom she buys for. She's an incurable "people" purchaser.

I stayed with her after attending the conference and could not help but notice the purchases she'd made recently--new toys for her granddaughter, fat-free versions of her usual pantry staples that she'd bought for me, and, though she'd never used the product, she bought a pack of Airborne tablets, knowing I liked to take them before and after flights.

She'd gone to Walgreens to pick up the Airborne and came home with a few other products, including a bastardized incarnation of fruit roll-ups.

"They're for the baby," she said, referring to my niece, who was visiting in a few days.

"Mom, I don't even think a small child can chew those things."

"Well!" she said defensively, "Boxes were sitting there right at the cash register--on sale! What was I supposed to do!"

OK, so maybe good old product placement still matters. Still, pleasing people has motivated most of my mother's purchases, from as far back as I can remember, when she bought me every Strawberry Shortcake doll and enough baseball cards to help fund my brother's retirement. For herself? She rarely splurges, except that year when she bought every variation of Rubik's cube--another story. It doesn't matter whether you make something that my mother likes; make her something her kids like and she's sold. If you manufacture it for them, she will come.

Still, Mom makes up a slim sliver of women buyers who purchase so freely. As the conference presenters reiterated again and again, women are making more choices these days. On the whole, we've become more discriminating, as we've had to prioritize our time and our commitments. To pin down our decision making processes is to have a special kind of empathy, one far removed from statistical study. It's truly an art.   

I know, understanding women is a tall order, but I want to help. I'll start by telling you what I want, or what I think I want, as the sad story for women like me is we often know more about what we don't want. Here are some of my "touchpoints," mundane opportunities that marketers can exploit to make me a customer for life. Do with them what you will:

• Snacking while working: Gimme a granola bar that doesn't crumble. I'm one of those people who need to eat at regular intervals, not really for any other reason than I get cranky. I snack mostly where I work--at my computer, which has started to look like a cookie war zone. I used to freak out people at the office when I lifted my keyboard, shook it and said, "Wow, like, office maracas!" I shouldn't have to carry a Dustbuster to accommodate snacking.
• Customer service calls: I don't want someone who's kvetchy, per se, but think of all of the customer service complaints that would get resolved if the person on the other line had only responded to a customer's issue with: "Omigod, that sucks! I'm SO sorry!" Sometimes feeling heard is all we want. Train these people to empathize!
• Touch-ups: I read a story in O Magazine about this, and all this pent up rage I've been harboring towards cosmetics companies bubbled to the surface. Recently I bought a lipstick shade because I liked the name of the color--nutmeg--and the supposedly accurate color on the packaging; then I tried it on. Since when is nutmeg pink? I put it with all the other bad lipsticks I keep in case one day I decide to go blond, or go colorblind.
• Feminine moments: I've become accustomed to stacking my boxes of Tampax on the grocery store conveyor belt and nodding when the nice cashier asks if I want a double plastic bag. When I worked in an office I picked up various personal products at lunch and walked my double-bagged self back into the office, hoping the guys chatting me up in the elevator couldn't see what I was carrying. Now, stocking up at the store isn't so embarassing as it is a nuisance. No one has designed a box that easily fits in your purse. Think about it: menstruation is a fairly predictable occurrence. Why can't we subscribe to a service and have our feminine products delivered to our doorstep regularly like those huge jugs of bottled water?

This list will get you started. No charge this time.

Comments

[Troy Worman]

This is a very interesting piece. The number of roles my wife plays in any given day is not something I think about on a regular basis. I like to think that I am plugged in to her world, but upon reflection, I'm not so sure.

I stay pretty busy. I am a Process Improvement Director in Corporate America! I could work 24x7 if I wanted to. And I like my job. I love my job. And I love the people I work with and my company, so... I am pretty engaged.

But I don't consider myself a typical guy. I don't define myself by my job. Perhaps, this has something to do with my liberal arts education, my mother (also, a Director of Process Improvement), or some psycho-balance reading I read sometime somewhere.

I like to think of myself as a consultant.

And I like to think of my wife. A lot of the time I think of her as a mother. It's a big part of what she does day-to-day. Sometimes, I think of her as the girl in the apartment complex that made sure all of our beer cans were ready for recycling on Tuesday mornings. Other times I think of her as the rabid UF fan... devoted daughter... therapist... caring friend...

But not enough. Too often I am thinking about something much less important and taking her for granted.

[Joy DJ]

I am SO guilty....but I really love this piece. -Mom

[nina]

That menstruation product delivery service idea is bloody (sorry, but how could I resist?) brilliant! Sign me up now.

[Jen]

Jor-
As for all of the Rubik's Cube products that mom bought, they were mainly mine, since I was the one that played and solved them.

The shopping for others issue, that mom has, is mine as well. Mike has a poker night and my first thought is should I go buy snacks for the guys and what would they like to eat? I like to go toy shopping, because I now can say would my niece like this, or would this benefit one of the students in my classroom. I used to spend more on myself, but now I spend on my classroom as well as my significant other. I have become mom in this regard.

Good article Jory

[Jen]

I can relate to the Customer Service calls bit, and surely it would help corporations if they employed a few people to just answer the phone and divert calls wherever necessary. I hate waiting to trawl through the number options when I ring someone up.

[Bronwyn]

Regarding customer service calls, you'd have more sympathetic agents if their bosses didn't chew them out for making the company look bad when they say something like "Omigod, that sucks! I'm SO sorry!" The agent may not be allowed to take blame and apologize to you on the company's behalf, or use such "unprofessional" phrasing.

[Yael Miller]

I found this article, interesting, funny and very insightful! As a packaging designer, this is really relevant for me. It's important to consider all of the above when designing brands and packaged goods targeted primarily to women.